Coping with grief,pain and bereavement

We all deal with things differently. I bet you are wondering why, I am stating the obvious. but I just feel the need to write about this. Some people may hear bad news, (a loved one passing away, or a terrible diagnosis from the doctor,impending divorce,death of a dream etc) and they just lock themselves in and cry,and do nothing for days and even years, then after that period they start moving on(dealing with life) slowly but surely. This example is the normal and most expected way to react to a loss.

So, how do I cope;especially this year that I have been hearing one bad news or the other? For instance,when I was told about my step mum passing away... I awoke to missed calls from my older brother,ranging from 5am-6am, which I automatically knew was a bizzare time for him to be ringing. I finally spoke to him at about 9am, and he said 'Kafaya,have you spoken to anyone else?(ie..other family members)' To which I replied 'No'. He continued: 'Kafaya,you need to seat down'... Mummy died earlier this morning' My reaction took my brother aback,perhaps it would you too. 'Wow?! Really?! That is terrible' in a matter of fact but shocked type of way... He then asked if he could come down to my place, as he was already at my big sister's house and my reply was ' errrm, no I'm very busy today' He asked what I was doing: I replied with 'errm, you know what I'll call you back' That must have really shocked him,and given him an impression that I wasn't moved. After that conversation, I picked up my phone and rang my parents and other siblings(almost like I needed confirmation)...It was only after speaking to them that it registered. Wow! 'mummy' is truly gone. I sobbed like a baby. I then left everything and made my way to my sister's house also.After that,some friends offered to come and visit me, I refused as I was fine.At least that is what I told them. Even when they saw me/spoke to me,I was smiling, sharing fond memories of her and moving on as swiftly as I could. In my case, I sob as I go. By that I mean, I carry on with life and every now and then, for instance when I go through Peckham town hall,or go into the shops and see her favourite biscuits, and the 5kg rice she loved buying from Peckham; I cry.

Just like years back when I was told my best friend got hit by a car and was in coma... when I first got the call I had just gotten back from work, and I bought some Chinese food home with me...  I picked up my phone,and was told the news. As I hung up my step mum(RIP) was like 'what is it?!' I did not utter a word, but went straight into the kitchen, got my Chinese, ate it,and half way through... I turned to her and said; 'Mummy, Olamide is on life support in hospital' I started to cry and cry,' even mummy did not know what to do....

The point I'm trying to make here is we are all different,it is not he who cries the most upon hearing a bad/sad news that is moved or affected the most. Nor he that takes to facebook,twitter,youtube updating how they are feeling  about their loss every second. However I do not begrudge you if that is your way of mourning, just allow me to mourn in my own way.

I have yet again received another unfortunate news, I have taken it to God in prayer. And I ask that you pray for me and my entire family. I believe in Him and  that all things work for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes. Instead of tears, I choose to dance, I choose to praise Him, and bless His holy name through this and other situations life may throw at me. So,press play on the video above, and let's praise away our sorrows.

Great Start

Here is a picture of my infamous smoothie as promised.... I had this for breakfast and I'm feeling good. I didn't manage to start the p90x as intended as the past couple of days has been really hectic... But no more excuses Kafy! I'm also experimenting with juicing and a potential juice fast. Let me know if you'll like the recipe for this smoothie,I make most of my smoothies with coconut milk as I find cow milk intolerable.

A little Music Upadate;
I find that ever since digging deeper into the word of God and concentrating on my general well-being (mind body,soul and spirit)... The inspiration just keeps flowing. I'm writing more and more new materials...so watch this space. :-)

Scripture of the day:

"Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary  of the holy Holy spirit who lives within you,Whom you have received(as a gift) from God? You are not your own." 1 Corinthian 6:19 AMP

A new chapter...

Hello and welcome to my page. This is my first post.... hooray! So as you may know,I have been over doing things on the food front lately. So today is the first day of my fitness and general health journey. So far I have eaten pretty clean today,I made a lovely smoothie(I will post pic up later). I'm also starting my first day of the P90X Programme;I will be doing that tonight so pics will be posted as soon as I finish with the exercise; if I survive.

Please feel free to post pictures of how you are getting along too,you may have useful recipes,bible scriptures....And remember that your challenge doesn't necessarily have to be food,it could that you are trying to give up smoking, negative self talk or whatever... We are all on the journey together,so let's go!

Scripture of the day:

"For we are fellow workmen(joint promoters,labourers together) with and for God; you are God's garden and vineyard and field under cultivation(you are) God's building." 1 Corinthians  3:9(AMP)